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| time......is scarce. i'm starting to realize that time is something that we just don't have enough of. and the way we spend our time is something that we don't consider enough. i'm always working and studying and volunteering my time and i always tell myself that there will be time for myself later. that i'll sleep later. that i'll appreciate it later. but what happens when i get to the point where this is no later and just a bunch of things on my "when i have time" list? i used to think that i was living for myself, taking risks and living my life to the fullest. experiencing everything i could so that i wouldn't regret not doing what i wanted. in a lot of ways i've done that....but lately it seems that all i ever say is i'll relax later. i'll sleep later. i'll go do that next time. as i get tied down with my life, trying to do as much as i can to fill my resume, i'm realizing that by saying "i'll do it later" i'm really hurting myself. while i do need to work to do the things i want, i'm working so much that i don't have time for the things i want to do. and while i need to keep getting good grades and graduate on time, studying is taking over my life so much that i don't even really sleep anymore. i wish i had time to just relax for a second and enjoy this beautiful day and appreciate the trees and the river and the sun. i wish my brain could rest and think about the things i care about instead of only reading endless pages of history and business practices. i wish that i had time to read the stack of novels i've been wanting to read. i don't know.....i guess i'll just do it later.
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| so....have you ever noticed that the mcdonald's fish sandwich tastes suspiciously like the mcdonald's hamburger? | | |
| well..today was a long day. i had class all day long. blah. i'm really gonna like my bad girls class. i'm excited about it. and my philosophy class seems like it's going to be interesting. arts administration is probably going to suck, but hopefully women artist's in history won't. i was spared joanne and got some newman lady instead. she's new here and she seems pretty cool. she didn't like the sound of the lights in the painting studio so she had them paint in the dark. my room feels so empty and lonely. i feel like i'm in some kind of insane asylum because my chair faces these big, beige, empty walls. i'm really going to have to find something for them before i really do go crazy. well....back to my twizzlers and itunes. peace-a | | |
| so...checked my grades today...all a's...i'm so pumped. gpa of 3.9 lovers...read it and weep. now i can feel totally good about the fact that the night before my accounting final i stayed out until 3 in the morning and didn't even study (and got a b  ). lovely. break is going....interestingly. i'm bored...and i keep thinking of things i could be doing....but i'm not doing. for example...i have tickets for the museum...i could do that. i need to go see suzanne because i need her in my life. i want to get all the people together that i haven't seen for awhile...my mom was going to plan a gorman-gladman-kennedy reunion but no plans have been made thus far. pretty much i've decided i'm lazy. but i figure i've earned it because of my sucky quarter. plus the temperature is progressively rising which is making my mood a lot better which will in turn get me out of bed and outside...which is where i want to be but it's been too cold. so...i've determined i will be lazy for a little longer...and then i'll feel like doing something. i'm psyched for the party this weekend though. i haven't seen my lovely friends or my lover sarah in forever-literally-so i can't wait. i miss people. and now i'll be going back to a room all by myself because my roommate transferred to c-state. sadness. i'm going to be so lonely. so people better start visiting me!!!!! love&&peace-a | | |
| i had the most amazing discussion with kyra today. that girl is so awesome. we had relationships and dialogues together this quarter and we've had a few of the best talks about love and relationships and life and everything. we stem really well off of each other. it's great. but today we were talking about the feeling you get when you are with someone who makes you feel something deep inside of yourself. it's somewhere in your chest in a place you can't explain and it's this crazy full feeling that puts your whole being at rest. it's the most amazing feeling ever and we're trying to name it. it's so much deeper than love. it's so much a feeling of your being finally feeling at home. love is too simple a word to describe the beauty of it so we're trying to create a word that will. thoughts? what is love to you? if you couldn't use the word love, how would you describe that feeling? | | |
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